.... should have seen it an hour ago.. I am so miserable- and added it all over this beautiful rock drawing.. bright green trees.. leaves.. a mess..
. reflection of self.. why do I not allow myself to be
happy.. or at least not feel so intensely extreme..
most of you, who visit by the thousands every day,
are familiar with my inner turmoils.. the extreme up and downs.. and the artworks true reflections of..
why does hurt look so beautiful on paper or canvas.
why ???!!.. Appearance of self, outside, a facade..
a 'fragile cover' of what is hurling me around inside.. sucks severely.. well... I needed to
draw.. hard.. and rocks are getting more and more.. I mentioned before, that this page might just be
filled with them.. a work, that is not realistic,.. nor abstract.. almost surreal in feel from the second
view possibility.. the figures huddled together.. squatting.. laying curled up hidden.. or exposed--
and cloaked - often like shielding self , from closeness of touch- others embracing.. lying
together.. still cloaked-- Must I feel 'in turmoil' or melancholic -- breathless from 'inner chase' or
'without breath', when like suffocating inside, .. to do what I do best.. create..? Would I want to change
it if I could.. would I be able to create, if so called 'happy' .. or at least 'calm'...? --Need to work more..
'rush' self into this 'run-non'stop' feel.. must stop it... cannot say.. how this piece is going to look
later.. or if I grab another one.. for now.. at least you can enjoy this paradox of beauty-in progress