I have high expectations for my life.
I want my life to be perfect, filled with true beauty and purity.
I am waiting for love which contains all these qualities.
However, what I have found in life is mostly failures and my share of despair, confusion,
frustration and anger. What I can do in this paradox and contradiction is to be receptive without complaint and try to create a new world.
Painting is the breakthrough for the problem that I face. At the same time, it is a tool of my lifeís vestige. These expectations might be considered to have nothing to do with the real world or just the thoughts of a naÔve dreamer but nonetheless it gives me an ultimate goal and direction in this desolate, harsh life. The fear that I might not accomplish my lifeís expectations always create strain between hope and despair. But it empowers me to make paintings which are a physical and visual representation of my inner struggles.
I close my eyes, I observe my heart and I try to visualize images that I see.
When I see, I paint and then I scrape some of the pigment off. Sometimes I scratch the
surface with a knife and then I paint it over with a different color and draw another line
with a knife again until I make the right image. It is the attempt to describe my invisible image with a visual tool. It is a physical production of insight rather than any intentional composition of forms and colors.
When it starts to shape a reflection of my image, then the painting itself becomes an unique individual object and begins to communicate with me. It is transmitted by its own appearance and meaning, which has an inner linking with myself, with colors and forms either united or independent. It leads to the ultimate possibility of how beautiful, perfect and pure life can be. It allows me to hear the Divine voice which comes from somewhere deeper than the subconscious. Through the act of the imitation of Creation, it teaches me a hidden truth that life is full of wonders and miracles. And it gives me a blessed moment of happiness as a creator even if it is only in this limited, restricted reality.
It protects me from an atheistic confinement of death and despair, and from evil temptations of materialism in this contemporary art and culture. And it awakened a
realization that it is a privilege that I am called for this journey to share the joy and
love of the Transcendent. Also it has made me realize that as an artist, I am given a
privilege to communicate with this blessed, visual language.